BRIAN HINGWAY: Good morning.
Thanks for taking my call.
Good morning, everyone.
And we’re back to business.
So, just a couple of weeks ago, a man who was a family friend of mine, who we’ve known for many years, died of natural causes in New York.
And, you know, there was a time in his life where he was in a lot of pain.
He had an addiction to pain medication, and he would be hospitalized and sometimes in a wheelchair, and just sort of being pushed into that place where he had to lie down and get medicated and do nothing.
And that was just something that I’ve always struggled with and that we’ve struggled with.
And it just sort, you get used to it, you learn to live with it.
And then one day he came to me and said, “I just want to go out with you, you’re my friend.
You know, I’m tired of having to walk to the doctor.”
And I was like, “What are you talking about?
You’re my brother, you have my heart.
I want to have a family, I want a job, I don’t want to see my friend die like this.
I don, I mean, what are you going to do?
What are you gonna do?”
And he just gave me the greatest hug that I could ever have.
And I felt like a mother to him, I feel like a friend.
And so, I just remember that moment.
And the other thing that I had to deal with was that I have a brother who is in his 50s, and I just thought about what would happen to that brother, his friends, the community, if I could see that.
And this was just another way that I felt I had been able to do that.
So I started looking into that and then, the next day, I saw that his friend had passed away.
And when I heard that, I knew that there was something wrong with my brother.
And my husband and I, we both had this idea that I’m a family person.
We love my family, and so when I learned that my brother had passed, I had a whole other kind of anxiety, I guess that the entire community had to see that my family had passed.
So that’s when it kind of got to the point where, yeah, I kind of was a little bit overwhelmed with how bad it was, and then I just felt like I had this obligation to say something.
And luckily, I got on the phone and called my son and we started talking.
And at that point, it just kind of hit home for me.
Because it was so sad and, you see, this is my brother and it was the first time I’ve ever been to a funeral.
And all I wanted to do was to be there and hear that I was his brother.
But it was just so hard.
And he was crying all the time, and you know what, you just can’t even imagine.
And there was so much emotion.
So it was really hard for me to understand why my family was mourning my brother’s death.
And in that moment, I said, OK, I’ve been to this funeral once, I know what it’s like to see your brother die.
And you know where I’m going with this.
And now, I understand what it feels like to be in that place.
And what I also felt was I’ve never really been able, in this way, to really be there for a person who’s been through something like that.
I’ve seen that.
It’s really hard.
So you know when I went out and spoke to my son, it was not a difficult thing.
And if he’s in a place where I need to talk to someone, I can do it.
I can connect with them.
I’m just really, really thankful for that and that he feels that way, that he’s been able.
And also, it’s just a blessing to have someone that I can be like, I have this relationship with, and we can talk.
I mean this is a life I’ve got to live.
So my son said, you really need to understand what’s going on.
And for some reason, when I saw the news, I thought, Well, he’s dead.
And suddenly, I felt this pressure, and that feeling of loss.
And because I was able to be around him for that time, he knew that I really, truly cared.
So he was able, at that moment in time, to see his brother’s body and see his friends that he loved, and to see the way that he looked in his grave, and the way he was feeling about it.
So when I got to know him, that was a really hard time, I think, for me and my family because, you think about it, when you see somebody that you